u r the one who really wakes me up

all this while, i tot i have ad let go.. i really tot i had..

but actually im not, or nvr succeed, in givin up our relationship.

......

many said to me: " u said u wanna let go for so many times..... end up, u r returnin bck to d same sp0t after announcin EVERYTIME! listen to ur lies to urself to0 often ad! sienzz....."

......

i jz remained silent, because i know that by myself.. know what am i thinking and what am i waiting all this while... waiting for a confession again, and not dragging the relationship.

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this is the first time, i felt in love over and over and over and over again wif a guy who used to lie to me at the first place. i do not know why i do... even till now..

i know many felt shocked, but they just don't dare to mention it in front of me. =) for those who know me, i understand why would u think like that. i myself can't explain to myself.

perhaps this is LOVE?

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we broke up, yet ~~~~~~

ill still hope we could have chances to be together again..

ill still jealous cause he gets near to girls...

ill still feel hurt when he ...........................................

but i clearly know that the situation should not be like that.

..

but im still dreaming for somthing that is IMPOSSIBLE!!!

..

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i was being stupid, asking his friends what plans do they have for his birthday early in that sunday morning.. as i know they will surely feel awkward of me asking so...

but don't know why, i just couldn't bother what are they going to think bout me...

however, things will not come in the way as u think it will be smoothly..

.......

his friend told me, he is planning to go for a movie with his friends on that day.

my heart bleeds,

and wondering...

"i thought he would have thought to celebrate with me..."

oh no...... thats just what i'm dreaming by myself.......

....

....

they ask whether i would like to join.. i can say that at that m0ment, i don't feel like doing o planning anything for his birthday!! SUCKS!!

....

However, i really wanna thank those who replied me in the way that doesnt make me feel embarrassing. instead giving me fully co-operation. =) thx...

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i hate myself so much...

...

...

...

...

cause.....

i prepared lunch for him on that day, thought of sending to his workplace..

how i noe......................................................................................

i felt bad to0. for throwing away all the fo0d =)

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the ONLY word i got from my friend is "STUPID".

Ya.. i just got to admit..

=(

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haiz...

fr0m now on, i will move on. and i really will. =)

i promise!

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